stranger times.

waking up at ten in the evening last night was strange. waking up at ten in the evening in my truck with the seat fully reclined was even stranger. but that’s just the kind of times we’re living in right now. earlier, i was gonna go shopping so i got dressed. it was exciting. going to the grocery store right now is the pandemic equivalent of attending a concert at the troubadour. 

“love is like a beautiful flower that i may not see, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight.” helen keller.

dressing for the store was strange as well. i changed my clothes twice before leaving the house. i wanted to look good, but i also wanted to be comfortable. i felt like going dark, but i thought i should go light. none of that was the strange part. to be honest, looking good at this point, well, anyway i dressed comfortably, and i went dark. i still thought i looked reasonable. 

“i try to keep in my mind the simple question: am i trying to do good or make myself look good.” bramachari direndra.

the strange part was that i never actually got out of the truck. i phoned ahead and a very young, very kind and lovely girl from the store did the actual shopping. she simply tossed the stuff in the back, i drove home and immediately changed back into my pyjamas. it was eleven in the morning. strange. i don’t exactly wear pyjamas, by the way. they’re more like very fluffy yoga pants with a camouflage motif. they’re spectacularly ugly of course but almost indecently comfortable. but these are strange times. 

“the best thing to hold onto in this life is each other.” audrey hepburn.

in days gone by, when one friend or another talked to me about anxiety and even depression, i would always say that it’s the intelligent, sensitive folks who suffer that way. i’m no psychologist. that’s just something i believe. these days, anxiety and even depression is pretty pervasive. one would need to be rather unintelligent and quite insensitive to not feel some level of all that. as it happens, i’ve been called both unintelligent and insensitive many times in my life, but that’s another story. 

“love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a heaven in hell's despair.” william blake

it nevertheless behooves each of us, as it has at all strange times throughout history, as during all times always, to find our way through with a sense of decorum, grace, strength and even beauty. i haven’t any great secret, only i doubt it has much to do with when we sleep, what we wear or how much bathroom tissue we have.

“in the flush of love's light, we dare be brave. and suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be. yet it is only love which sets us free.” maya angelou