Friday, April 22, 2016

the lazy boy.

my life changed when i bought a reclining sofa-chair. it was virtually my first purchase in canada. i used to sleep in it, honestly, quite often. when it came time to die for the night, i would just catapult it all the way back, roll over and dissolve in a sea of absolute bliss consciousness, or maybe it was sloth and torpor, but let's not quibble. 

the night i returned from 23 years in india, i was allowed to use my parents' den. after getting into trouble for letting a fly into the apartment, for wagging my head 'like one of them hindooos' and for saying 'no problem no problem' too many times, i simply hid myself away. in the den there was a recliner, a piece of modern furniture the likes of which i had never experienced and it blew me outta the proverbial water. 

in india, you see, i was used to sleeping on thin straw mats, then thicker straw mats. eventually, i slept on lumpy futons, then thicker lumpier futons. i was a real yogi in those days, not like now. because as soon as i landed on this side of the great pond, on that recliner in that den on that very first weird night, i sank deep into an ocean of comfort, a sea of self-indulgence, and i had no intention of climbing out. the luxury washed over me, wave upon wave of coziness swallowed me and i renounced renunciation. i wanted one of them chairs, the quintessential symbol of western materialism. 

once happily, gratefully settled in beautiful bustling downtown wakefield, a recliner became a valued part of my decor. as i shuffled from shack to better shack, from house to better house, that recliner came along. eventually, i was able to purchase whole sofa sets, tables, nice clothes, eye glasses, even sparkling new teeth. heck, at one point i owned three houses, two trucks and a whole shopload full of fine furniture, art pieces and other semi useless stuff. but, it all began with that recliner.

there's a story about a yogi named narad whose teacher, one day, asked him to get a pitcher of water from the local well. once there, narad met a beautiful girl, fell in love, married, had children. of course, because he had a family, narad needed to build a house, buy cows and work very hard. then there came a year during which the monsoon rains were so harsh, so strong that the land flooded. crops, animals and buildings were swept away. narad's family climbed up to the roof and eventually the water rose to their knees. as they were being swept up in the torrent narad, holding tight to his children, called out: "lord, why have you forsaken me?!" then he heard the voice of his old teacher: "i just asked you for a pitcher of water."

that story means we should stay simple, unattached, let go our possessions, shave our heads. we should not marry or have children, build houses or buy cows. uuuhhh, actually no. that's a very old concept. it means we should remain simple, unattached... in our deepest understanding. it means we should completely know, while we completely enjoy the beauty of this world with all the ups and downs of the life, that this material existence is impermanent. that story illustrates the need to know that we own nothing at all, in reality, not even our bodies. that's true renunciation.

so anyway, about two weeks ago i whacked down on the foot-rest of my old recliner and the whole mechanism went outta whack. i guess i whacked the heck outta it. i don't recall what put me so outta whack. i only recall feeling like a damn fool. but, i had to face the fact that, after about eighteen wonderful years together, i no longer had my beloved recliner.  now i don't know what to do.

'grasping at things can only yield one of two results: either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear. it is only a matter of which occurs first. you must know that.' s.n. goenka.     

Monday, April 18, 2016

The More You Give The More You Have.

by shuchita, www.meditative awareness.com.

Many years ago a friend turned to me and said, “You have to know that the more you give, the more you have.” I found the statement both enigmatic and enticing.

Giving is associated with offering from one’s own resources to another. How could this be the source of having more? Generosity is a sense of abundance and the ability to share with others, and, as such, is a more expanded state of consciousness. But, it was only upon meeting a Self-realized being, that I came to recognize the true glory of giving and generosity.

True generosity is an enlightened state of awareness where all are received and embraced as one’s very own Self. Such an enlightened being creates unity wherever he or she is. To experience the power of true generosity is profoundly moving and enriching.

Over the years, it has become clear to me that the cultivation of generosity expands one’s awareness. It harbours the ability to transform one’s consciousness into the magnanimity of being.  In fact, generosity is the wellspring of infinite gain.

Generosity as a Means of Expansion of Awareness and Infinite GainGiving taps into our reservoirs and opens our hearts and our minds

All generosity starts with some form of giving. Even a smile, a simple word, a token of engagement is an act of generosity. It is simple and fulfilling. It is not hard to give – in fact you may even feel lighter, easier, and surprisingly happy. Being kind to others is about finding the expanded dimension in our own being and sharing it with others. Since nothing is required, it adds an element of creativity to interactions. You can contribute whatever you like and be playful in the offering. If the giving is appreciated, the sense of well-being is enhanced all-round.

As we awaken to the joy of giving, we start noticing the world around us. Engaging in other people’s lives, offering our time, our energy, and assistance, we become aware of new and different modes of living. It broadens our horizons. Reaching out to lend a helping hand at a time of need can be profoundly touching; it unites us with others in a moment of impact. Such unexpected connections may remain potent for years and be the seeds for deep-lasting friendships.

Our presence matters. Participating through giving activates our resources and brings out our significance as beings on earth – both for others and ourselves. As we reach within our reservoirs of abundance to share with others, it opens our hearts and minds. Contributing with positivity benefits all.

Expansion Through Becoming a Gracious and Generous Receiver

Once one rises above one’s personal needs and wants to include and assist others, the universe responds with its blessings.

Giving is often reciprocated with signs of gratitude and tokens of appreciation (a letter, a gift, an invitation, etc.). Furthermore, requests for greater assistance and involvement are not uncommon consequences of our giving. Being able to receive and accept what is offered in return, be it praise or reproach, appreciation or involvement, demands a subtler, more egoless form of generosity.

Gracious receiving is an act of offering gratitude and thanks to others for what they are, not for what we want them to be. It is about letting sweetness permeate our hearts and a grander vision to prevail. Verbalizing this generosity of consciousness with appreciation softens the barriers between us and others. By receiving and recognizing what life presents, the world appears kinder and less intimidating.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

The Rooster Will Come Home To Roost.


“I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.” Rodney Dangerfield.


My dentist kept my teeth. I don’t know why. He has a perfectly good set of his own. He insisted on keeping them for two weeks. I have been enjoying having teeth and It’s not nice walking around without them. Little children go running to their mommies crying when they see me. I’d like to run to my mommy too, but she’s long gone and, frankly, probably wouldn’t have been terribly sympathetic. She told me this would happen if I insisted on ingesting so much sugar. Even now I see her in my dreams wagging a bony finger at me like the friggin ghost of Christmas past.


Anyway, sugar’s only been part of the problem. There was my good friend’s flying elbow during that long-ago basketball game which loosened a couple of chiclets. He’s a wealthy lawyer now with a winning smile and I’m walking around with no teeth. Then there was the mugging in the year 2000, January 14th, 6:30 at night to be precise. It was not my finest hour. By the way, this is not the first time my dentist has kept my teeth and, to be fair, he does give them back, usually in better condition. But I feel shy around other homo sapiens. Most seem to have such perfect white tusks.


In the meantime, and this is important, a medical procedure that has been pending was only just recently completed. And it has affected my overall appearance drastically. I look horrible which is wonderful, because i am no longer the least concerned about my missing teeth. I don’t care at all. My dentist can keep them for as long as he wants. He can use them if he needs to, show them to people at dinner parties. It really doesn’t matter. As well, and this is very important, I just heard a friend of mine died. Now I don’t care how I look at all at all.


The truth is that my face will return to normal, although obviously I use the word loosely, and I will get my teeth back. But, sooner or later, the rooster will come home to roost. I don’t actually know what that means, but I think you know what I mean by it. Nobody gets out of this intact. So I think about that every time a young and beautiful person patronizes me. I think about that every time I talk to someone old and decrepit. The truth is that I am the young and beautiful, the old and decrepit, both, all.  


“The truth is that on some level when you hurt, or when your children hurt, I hurt. We are all in this together.” Bernie Sanders.

Friday, April 1, 2016

when the van's a rockin.

spring has sprung. this is a period of new life, new beginnings. the snow is melting, buds are budding. many guys find themselves inexorably drawn to a new romance. i, however, find myself inexorably drawn to a new camper. 

it happens every spring. there must be some deficiency in me. maybe i need shots of testosterone. i see a beautiful woman and my attention goes rather to a van passing by. i appreciate big breasts, but i want hallugen headlights. i love long legs, but i never tire of tough tires. i enjoy a simmering smile, but i prefer a cozy camper, and that's just wrong. 

i've bought and sold so many campers over the years that i should probably join a support group. i've had two trailers, two truck campers, a fifth-wheel and a couple of modified truck caps. last year i bought a fifth-wheel, went to huge lengths to fix it up, and the only trip i took was to wakefield. it was a great day, but i only live five minutes away.  also last year, i very nearly bought a spectacularly smelly horse trailer. and i don't own a horse. i can't recall whether that was just before or after the fifth-wheel. it's all kinda blending together. anyway, i thought it'd be cool to convert a horse trailer into a camping trailer. only one of all my friends agreed, and i realized even he was being slightly sarcastic when he suggested i could sleep standing up. anyway, when you're inside an old horse trailer, where actual horses had spent many long hours loitering, presumably in pretty bad moods, with the remnants of their bodily functions in evidence, it's hard to hold onto the romance of the vision. 

the last time i was at my ashram in india, while everyone there contemplated the one life permeating all, i contemplated what camper i would get upon my return to canada. while they studied scriptures, i studied camper reviews. while they poured over the 'rig-vedas' i poured over the rig of my dreams. i spent the whole time on-line looking at roadtreks and sportsmobiles, four-wheel-truck campers and retro bolers. 

so now it's spring. while other guys are lusting after the female species i find myself lusting after camper vans, the last great frontier. the problem is that every time i look at a van i feel as though i'm cheating on my truck. i love my truck, but i just want something a little younger, prettier. anyway, it's not as though i want to get rid of her. no. i'm just thinking of driving off once in a while, the odd weekend getaway. you can understand that, can't you? 

"life is a pilgrimage. a wise man does not rest by the roadside inns. he marches (or drives) directly to the illimitable domain of eternal bliss, his ultimate destination." swami sivananda.