Monday, January 24, 2011

Life Calling.

As the world marched inexorably toward the new millennium, Kullu was rapidly changing.  There were many new houses, all manner of businesses, vehicles of various sizes and gaggles of people flowing into the valley like the river.  There were plastic bags strewn all over the trees after a storm, the roadside was crazy, hazardous to walk along and one could see way more lights at night on the hillsides. 
One of the obvious signs of the change was a burgeoning electronics industry.  Every house and shack had a television by then, (satellite T.V. had arrived,) in-home telephones had become commonplace, the internet hit the Himalayan Mountains… and cell-phone towers were cropping up. 
Just before I decided to skedaddle, in ’98, an older Swiss lady came to solicit my help.  She had been living in Kullu for a year or two and claimed to have certain extra-normal abilities as well as heightened sensitivities.  She felt that a new cell-phone tower, the first in the area, was disrupting her psyche.  Her dreams had apparently become strange(r,) her thought patterns had allegedly taken a turn for the worse and her general demeanor was going south, so to speak. 
Honestly, I tried to put her off.  Because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how I could help.  I accepted the possibility that the influx of electronics would change the world as we knew it.  However, even if the new tower was going to upset our minds in some unforeseen, demonic fashion, it was already built.  People were already eagerly buying up the new cell-phones, happily boning up on their texting skills and innocently practicing their hand/ear coordination.     
Meanwhile, eventually, I could no longer sidestep the poor lady.  She came to me in tears and blurry-eyed one morning.  She’d had an especially upsetting dream that night and pleaded with me to meet the contractors and engineers of the tower and try to, I don’t know, reason with them in some way I supposed.  Together we trundled up the hill, just above where she was living at the time, to where I had arranged a little get-together with ‘the men of the tower, the harbingers of doom and gloom.’  They were actually very nice guys.  They listened to all our concerns, wagging their heads appropriately with the usual clicking noises of their tongues. 
Trying to describe the negative, subtle nuances that electromagnetic fields have on the brain while speaking in what can only be described as terrible Hindi, not to mention the fact that I really didn’t know what I was talking about, was of course ludicrous.  India, however, is probably one of the few places in the world where a meeting like that would even take place.  I noticed the gentlemen sniggering a bit and sneaking glances at each other, but by and large they extended typical Indian respect for their elders, even if they didn’t understand what the heck we were on about. 
Eventually, they invited us to take a tour of the facility.  In fact, they seemed fairly insistent.  A leisurely tour of the dreaded tower was hardly what the Swiss lady had in mind.  With a petulant snort, a sob and a snivel, she flatly refused to go near the thing.  But, I went along if for no other reason than to collect my thoughts.  We lumbered up the side of the hill until we got to the electronics shed in the shadow of the huge tower.  Then, one of the men opened the door with a flourish and stepped aside so I could get a good look at its interior.  There wasn’t a thing in there.  There was not so much as a wire, a plug or even a light-bulb.  The electronics had not been installed. 
Now, you may think that, by narrating that story to you all, I’m making fun of that tortured Swiss lady, but nothing could be further from the truth.  Ok, maybe I am.  However, you can be quite sure that I’m making fun of myself at the same time, because I have suffered in somewhat the same fashion, although perhaps with a trifle more decorum.  Still, my life has been a series of steps and missteps while continuously seeking the perfect place to meditate and to live.  I prefer to live alone to minimize the affect of 'other' vibrations around me.  I often don’t sleep because I feel the collective consciousness becomes oppressively heavy in the night and don’t even get me started on the subject of sex. 
I once briefly lived in a flat in a house in the Glebe in Ottawa.  And I was quite sure that often, as I meditated in the night, I would begin to dream the dreams of the people in the flat below me.  And, trust me, that wasn’t pretty.  I periodically felt I could tell when someone in the house was smoking dope.  It would roll over me in waves.  I believed I could sense when my neighbors were making love.  Sadly, I could not actually see what position they were employing, but that’s not the point.  The point is that I spent a heck of a lot of time walking the streets and napping on park benches until I moved to a little cabin outside the city limits.
I’ve been right at times, I’ve been wrong at other times.  I can’t lie to you nor to myself.  I've witnessed the heights of mysticism and the depths of pure nonsense.  So if, having read up to this point, you’ve had your worst suspicions about meditation confirmed, have a nice life.  At least nobody will call you a flake and that’s gotta be worth something.  If, however, you’re intrigued, as I continue to be, if you’re curious about whether there is actually more going on here than what meets the eye, as I still am, then I can tell you this from my direct, personal experience; life is way too fascinating to ignore, to not explore. 
A wise man I used to hang out with once told me; ‘You can’t know all the ins and outs of a jumbo jet before boarding, and the flying may be a bit scary, but the landing is worth the flight.’    

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Envy.

A friend of mine called me 'an arrogant prick.'

Now, I know what 'prick' refers to and I just didn't feel comfortable with it.  Firstly, that's anatomically nonsensical.  For another, I've been rather reserved, retiring, even repressed in that regard.  I've kept myself pretty much under wraps, so to speak, which may account for a couple of small problems I'm experiencing at this point in my life.  Of course, she would not have had occassion to know all that.  But, to be fair, especially if we ignore the genital reference entirely, as we should, the lady was really saying I'm arrogant or saying that I'm really arrogant; a label that this particular portion of this particular blog offering appears to confirm.

My friend sent me an email asking the question: 'How does one know that the spiritual experience, that leads one to conclude that everything is an illusion, is not just another illusion?'  Unfortunately, she did not like my answer.  In fact, she was clearly offended by my answer and, as I've already harped upon, she called me 'an arrogant prick.' 

Be that as it may, I will leave it up to you, my respected readers, to decide the matter for yourselves.  I've been told that it's almost impossible for anyone other than a seasoned computer geek with no life to figure out how to leave a commnet on this site.  I can't help you with that since I haven't figured it out either.  Perhaps it's just as well.  Because here is my offending answer to her innocent question:  'Simply put, someone who has actually had the spiritual experience that you are referring to would not feel any need to ask that question.'  If you do succeed in leaving a comment, I promise that I won't call you arrogant.   


When I received my good friend's not-so-good-friend-type response, comparing me to a penis with issues, I wrote:  'In that case, I would humbly suggest you ask your questions to someone who will give you the answers you're wanting.'  However, as an afterthought, and considering the reaction my answer illicited from such a good friend, I decided to seek out the opinion of my beloved Guruji.  What follows here is a partial transcript of his response.


Hansraj:  Thank you Swamiji.  It's a beautiful morning to be sitting here in the sun with you and everyone.  I recently received a question from a lady in Wakefield, which of course I answered.  However, she didn't like my answer.  (ripples of laughter.)  In fact, not only did she not like my answer, she seemed to be quite offended by it.  (laughter.)  In fact, she said I was an arrogant something-or-other.  (more laughter.)  So I decided that I'd like to see what you have to say about it.  Would that be alright? 


Swamiji:  Yes.  Would you all like to hear it?  (much laughter and eager applause.)

Hansraj:  The question, Swamiji, was: 'How do you know that the spiritual experience that makes one conclude the world is an illusion is not just another illusion?'  And my answer was:  'Simply put, if one has actually had the spiritual experience you are referring to, one would not have any need to ask that question.'

Swamiji:  What she has said is all correct.  A spiritual person has that experience that this world is an illusion.  She asked if that experience might be an illusion.  I say yes.  Why?  The spiritual person is the one who never knows illusion or disillusion.  Only then is he really spiritual. 


Hansraj:  Beautiful.

Swamiji:  So she has every right to be offended by you.  (huge laughter.)

Hansraj:  I was afraid you'd say that.  (huge laughter.) 


Swamiji:  But I am not offended.  Because she is, you are, just me.  She is not an illusory figure for me.  Neither are you an illusory figure incarnated for me.  Both of you were not when I had been.  Both of you are when I am.  Both of you, according to your knowledge, will not be, but I will still be.  That I is not spiritual.  That I is not material or physical.  And people are trying to be logical, figuring that if there is an I, then there must be a you.  And they have no way to check that you say I and I say I.  Why should I say you and why do you say you if I alone am?  And that is where the difficulty is, not with animals, not with birds, not with trees and not with mountains or oceans.  the difficulty is only with man who is not now a child.  There is also no difficulty with a child.  They are neither knowledgeable of I or knowledgeable of you.  So they have no sense of otherness, sense of duality or sense of doubt.  And a spiritual person in reality is that one who does not have the knowledge of spirit or the knowledge of material.  The word spiritual is mental.  The word material is mental.  And when mind is not there, why is it illusion?  Everyone says mind is illusion.  And mind makes the world, so world is illusion.  Illusion never existed.  Illusion is an illusion.  (laughter.)  So why does one have to say you need an experience to remove illusion?  (laughter.) 

Hansraj:  That's a great point.


Swamiji:  Thank you. 


Hansraj:  I would just like to add, Swamiji, that she also wrote; 'Swami Shyam would not have answered me like that.'  (raucus laughter.) 


Swamiji:  We are stuck with the knowledge we are taught.  And now you've brought that bundle in your heart and mind.  It's sort of frozen there.  And you don't really want to get it melted.  And your need is for someone to have a fire and melt it for you.  But, you are mentally so frozen that you want to retain that frozen entity.  And that has been our work, to melt it.  Of course, I have never blamed you for that.  Whatever you have been taught, I respect.  Whatever you are selling, I respect.  Whatever you are buying, I respect.  But, I am also a good salesman.  I sell that property nobody can see and you have to pay for that.  That's why I said to Joey yesterday that we are both good salesmen.  Because a good salesman will never offend a buyer.  He will find a way to sell the product.  And I have taken forty years to sell it.  And you are busy with buying it.  Nobody got offended or said: 'Swamiji, I will not buy it.'  Why?  I'm not selling a commodity.  Commodities are material.  I am not selling something made of earth, fire, water or air.  Your mind is not material.  But, the source of the mind, since it is not apparent or known to the mind, gets associated with the senses and organs and the world. 

I always tell you, and I want to tell you again right now, that you do have the capacity to transcend the senses, transcend the mind, the ego, intellect and become truly spiritual.  (loud applause.)