the good conspiracy theory.

there’s always another way to look at things. there’s always another point of view. i have appreciated painting a slightly negative picture of religion, spiritual aspirations and new-age philosophy. i suppose i’ve appreciated painting a slightly negative picture of religious leaders, spiritual teachers and new-age gurus. and yet, i ask myself, where would i have ended up had it not been for all of those in my life(?)

there may be no beginning or end to the enquiry. as a matter of fact i firmly believe that. it seems so obvious. and it also seems as obvious that anyone who states or infers that he or she knows ‘the answer’ is either a fool or worse. but, perhaps the very best a human can aspire to is a direct cognition of an underlying reality, an all-permeating self, irregardless of the question ‘ok, but where did that come from?’

the fact is i’m not saying anything so important. or if i am, it’s certainly not different than a lot of folks have said, from george carlin to friedrich nietzsche. hey, anyone who would not simply spend a lifetime in hiding after being named friedrich must’ve been a great philosopher. and apparently he did not have an ultimate answer. he philosophized, like george and me, that religion may be the greatest conspiracy ever played on humankind.

however, a friend recently asked: “what’s the harm of believing in an eternal self without beginning or end?” and that was a really good question, the absolute right question. we know very well that certainly a blind faith in an ideology, theory or idea can cause horrible huge and hideous harm. and if i wanted to remain the glass is half empty kinda guy i’d leave it at that. 

but that glass is also half full. so, yeah, a belief in a god or an underlying reality can precipitate tremendous good. there’s no doubt about it. and, more to the point, if a practice of meditation can actually acquaint or reacquaint oneself with that reality, irregardless of its seeming endlessness, what a tremendous blessing. 

as well, if enough people were to meditate on the infinite and interconnectedness of all life, what a blessing it’d be for the world as a whole(?)

a danger 2.

Nathan. I was happy to read your latest posting ‘a danger to my self’. Here are some thoughts that came up for me as I read your post... You wrote: "i believe in an underlying eternal reality. what i don’t believe is that’s ‘the answer.’ in other words: where did that self, that reality come from?" I wonder: that underlying-reality, that eternal self you believe in and experience in meditation... why does it have to come from somewhere? or go to somewhere? does it have to have a beginning and an end? Perhaps that self just IS, with no beginning or end, no coming or going. And if you haven't discerned a beginning or end to that self, maybe there isn't one...? Also, I wonder... having discovered that underlying eternal reality... does it really matter where it came from - if indeed it came from somewhere? I put these thoughts forward with much respect and curiosity...

non-answer: Zofia Kumas-Tan your comments are very right-on and i couldn’t agree more. i would only add that when you say ‘perhaps that Self just IS’, you’re basically reiterating what i wrote in my post, and i say it may be a bit of a cop-out, that the question remains. ‘cop-out’ may be too strong a term, but i am simply warning against an assumption that one has found the answer. and i’m specifically warning against thinking anyone else has either and therefore is some sort of great prophet. a belief, due to meditation, intuition and logic, is not a certainty, a knowledge. that’s all i’m saying. and as long as a yogi is making that distinction, enjoy the saat-chitt-aanand. you’re saying ‘maybe there’s no beginning or end’ and ‘does it really matter?’ those are both great comments/questions.

Also, I fully agree with your position that the true yogi will seek to have a personal experience of Truth, rather than blindly accepting teachings... and it seems to me that the best teachers encourage us to practice yoga/meditation and to find our own answers through the practices, to find our own inner teacher. At the same time, I find great value in having faith. It's true... this faith aspect approaches religion... but if it fuels me to continue on this path, to apply myself earnestly, to stay with the practice... is there harm in having faith? in drawing inspiration from the teachings? Especially if the teachings touch something in you, and that something in you responds with a kind of joyful recognition, or remembrance... Do you know what I mean?

non-answer: Zofia Kumas-Tan you’re clearly an intelligent, deep thinker. again, i agree. i agree there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with faith. in fact, i sometimes almost envy folks with deep faith, in a prophet, in a god. is there any harm in it? well, we see that there certainly can be.
but what i appreciated most of all was your last couple of lines regarding inspiration and a ‘joyful recognition or remembrance’. that’s beautifully put. and yes i do know what you mean.

a danger to my self.

the simple truth can be dangerous. it’s quite simple really, but not very popular, apparently kinda hard to swallow. i’m simply saying that nobody really knows ‘the answer’, and that’s the truth. 
   
probably the dangerous part is that i don’t believe anybody has ever known ‘the answer’. and that includes jesus, moses, buddha, shivananda, muktananda, the pope, mooji, mohammad, tholle, nanak, chopra, yogananda, certainly not me and almost certainly not you. and whether the great teachers, masters, gurus, saints and sages past and present have come straight out and said they know or they simply inferred it, i think they’re full of rotten tomatoes or tomaatos. and any way you slice it that’s hard to swallow.

leaving aside the great religions of the world for the moment, we come to the so-called contemporary new-age movement. and we observe how it too has devolved into a kind of religion. with the belief in an all-permeating self, an underlying eternal reality, we fall straight into the trap. the guarantee was that dhyaan, meditation, would be the direct portal to that self, that reality, when in fact it may well have been the very trap itself. i believe in an all-permeating self. i believe in an underlying eternal reality. what i don’t believe is that’s ‘the answer.’ in other words: where did that self, that reality come from? 

after a lifetime of meditation with a dedication most could not fathom, i know about samadhi, kundalini, kaivalya, moksha. but, i won’t lie. what i still don’t know is where we come from or where we go. i don’t know who was the first mother. i haven’t seen the beginning or end of creation. i don’t know god.

of course, at that point you’d hear ‘it’s’ beyond words, beyond intellect. you’d be told the human mind can’t reach there: it’s beyond the beyond, it just is. the truth, in my less-than-humble opinion, is that’s a kinda colossal cop-out at best, a manipulation at worst. 

my beliefs come from meditation, intuition and logic. only, as a yogi one is not supposed to accept what one hears or reads as gospel. a yogi is to rely on his or her own personal direct knowledge, hence the use of the word ‘belief’. however, even if one accepts the direct experience or cessation of all experience, the conscious dissolving of ones individual identity into the whole, the self of all, the question still remains. and it’s important, as a yogi, to bloody-well be honest about it. otherwise it’s not different from any religion: faith in an all-permeating, eternal life is not different than having faith in a god. which is fine, but it’s a faith, a belief. it’s not knowledge. 

ramana maharshi allegedly encouraged people to keep asking: ‘who am i?’ i certainly don’t know who i am in deep sleep, deep samadhi, when unconscious or dead. so, yeah, it’s a valid question. and perhaps we should include the question: ‘and where did that come from?’ we may never really get ‘the answer’, but we probably should never stop asking. 

and, by the way, not having ‘the answer’ in no way minimizes the meditative tradition. it may minimize the guru tradition, but the value and profundity, the beauty and majesty of meditation remains. that i do know.