the waiting seemed to go on so long that when it finally happened it happened quick. and then i was back in my truck, vaccinated, reflecting upon the whole last year and a half. and i asked myself: ‘what the heck was that?’
hardly an hour earlier i’d been alone in my room, as so often has been the case, when the phone rang. and then i was in such a hurry that it came down to whether to put pants on or be on time for the appointment. of course i did the prudent thing, still somehow made it on time, got the jab and left feeling gently grateful. and the folks at the wakefield community centre clinic really could not have been nicer.
one hears so many things: ideas, theories, fears. and i try to respect folks’ differing opinions, in this case specifically regarding vaccinations. these days, however, i just find it all a little irritating. i mean, i get it. they were developed too quickly and we’re being used as human guinea-pigs. hell, i don’t like hearing about guinea-pigs being used as guinea-pigs. however, sitting in my old truck, i felt a palpable sense of relief. it’s not as if i trust the largess of the pharmaceutical companies. i can be as cynical as the next person. only, i find it equally hard to ignore the fact that, had it not been for pharmaceuticals i woulda died approximately five times in my life, which is a lot of dying. and so, anyway, if i’m shedding, may i be shedding good vibrations. if i’m magnetic, may it be a magnetic personality.
the past year and a half, sure, it’s been lonely for so many. i’ve personally been alone over many long stretches of my life. and, at some point loneliness exploded within my head and heart and became something else, something ok. i don’t know what to call it. but, seeing a neighbour walking by can bring me a simple joy. and, lord, if there’s a wave involved it’s as warm as a warm embrace. a dog’s barking is a friend’s hello, a bird’s chirping is a beloved’s song. meanwhile, while sitting there waiting for my arm to ache, it occurred to me that a hilariously ironic scenario woulda been for me to catch the india variant. it could still happen, i suppose, although it aint likely, not now, not by a long shot. in fact, now it seems as though a whole new world’s opening up for me, for us.
so as i turned the key i asked myself: ‘nate, where do you go from here? and just like that i heard myself say: ‘home.’