it may be dangerously indelicate and fabulously incorrect politically for me to say that they all look alike. but i honestly do often have a hard time differentiating one from another. i’m not really against spandex-wearing bikers. i’m just sayin they tend to look alike.
spandex people should be allowed to vote, of course. as far as i’m concerned, they have every right to equal pay for equal work, should even be allowed to marry each other. i’m not even against them marrying non-spandex people. they can produce many beautiful mixed-spandex-non-spandex babies, and that’d be fine with me. you love who you love. i am the least prejudiced person in this room.
in fact, two of my best friends are spandex people. i wouldn’t want them to marry my sister, but that’s mostly because she’s dead. it’d be weird, especially if they both married her. but i’d have no problem with them marrying each other. it simply occurred to me today, as i rode my bike in the park and a few whizzed by, that they all look the same.
i’m obviously not a spandex-wearing personage, and i’ll never be in that kind of shape. i’m in a different kind of shape. wearing flannel earlier this morning, i felt as though i could meditate forever. and after shooting a few basketballs around in my driveway i sat again, and had that same sense. in fact, i got a ‘cycling-high’ before cycling.
later on, i had to walk my bike up a big hill as somebody or something flew by and simultaneously a lovely lady got off her bike beside me. "my partner’s an animal," she said smiling over at me. to which i responded: "i’m sure your kids will be lovely." she looked at me strangely, jumped back on and rode quickly away, probably trying to impress me. but, it occurred to me how remarkable it was that she and her animal could look so similar while both wore spandex.
i’m not sure what necessary part the spandex plays in cyclists’ rush toward their desired spike in neuro-chemicals. only i wonder what they’ll do when their cycling days are done. could they, would they access that innate dopamine experience without spandex? i wondered about that while reclining in the back of my van after my ride.
and at the same time i noticed out the window that same lovely lady and her partner ride up to their bmw. they took their helmets off, kissed, and i couldn’t help but notice, as i craned my neck, the way she grabbed his ass. i’d always assumed it’d be dangerous to grab the rump of an animal like that, but it did give me yet another ‘cycling-high.’