returning an item to canadian tire today was something of an occassion for me. it was an opportunity to see and maybe even speak with one or two humans. i would go so far as to say i was excited. i’d hardly had humanoid contact since last time i was at that same store.
as i left the car i noticed a vehicle next to mine had its hood open. so, as i donned my trusty mask, i asked if the guy needed a boost but, in frenglish, he told ne he was ok. that being the case, my first job was definitely to visit the latrine, the salle de bain, the little boys’ room. that often is a requirement when i get excited. unfortunately, the room was locked down tighter than a drum with a note to that effect, blaming the pandemic of course. and so, holding the turkey by the neck, so to speak, i beetled it back to my car.
being terribly proud of my foresight, i grabbed the jar placed under my seat for just such an occasion. i unscrewed its lid, stuck the thing down my pants and let ‘er rip. i was so happy. i felt relieved, relaxed, even somewhat rapturous... until somebody knocked on my window.
needless to say, that was a terrible shock. i jumped. luckily, everything stayed in place, more or less, and out of sight, as i rolled down the window. the guy whose vehicle was next to mine, apparently, had changed his mind. he needed a boost.