my little room.

my little room.
nathan.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

a functional truth.


"for those without faith there are no answers. for those with faith there are no questions." the chief rabbi lord immanuel jakobovitz

these days, i'm not really into faith. i'd rather write about what i know, like erectile dysfunction. but i'll focus on faith, and god, or faith in god. i could write with some authority about erectile dysfunction. in fact i come from a dysfunctional family. but god is an important topic, and nobody's interested in my family crap.

speaking of crap, i recently upgraded the plumbing at my cottage. there's a new septic system, new pump, all new pipes, hot water tank, toilet, toilet paper, everything's brand-spanking new. now you may well wonder what the heck that has to do with god. well, folks came to stay at my cottage and immediately the toilet wouldn't flush. no flushing. i was flush once, but no more. thousands upon thousands of bucks, roupees, dineros, and those folks had to crap in the old out-house! now, i ask you: is there a god? does he exist or is he dead? and, if he's dead, who's running the show? and, if he's alive why doesn't my toilet work? why does he create typhoons, or bafoons? and why should i capitalize the G? oh yeah, and why is he a he, or is she a she?

i watched a youtube video lecture by a swami ballanuts who was all about incessantly asking oneself: 'who am i?' he was good in pointing out all that we're not: not so good with the who we are part. i mean, we are the eternal self? what does that even mean? does he know something i don't? or was that a leap of faith? was he just parroting what he's read or heard? meditation, the ancient science of 'dhyan yog,' is supposed to be solely concerned with personal direct knowledge. i know that my 'little brother' is dysfunctional, but i have no personal direct knowledge of eternity.

in meditation one experiences a cessation of experiences, an absolutely blissful state of consciousness no doubt. i get that, directly, and it's profound, tremendous, not to be minimized. it's a fully functional tool. it's huge. i'm proud of it. but my truth is: i wonder how the hell 'they' all can talk of an eternal self, a heavan, a paradise with such authority. what is god (?) who was the first mother (?) how did anything, any of us, even come into existence in the first place and where do we go in the last place (?) in fact, who am i (?)

why can't we all just admit that we simply don't know, and that we're all in this together (?) we gotta keep looking, keep searching. but, meanwhile, i believe every swami, rabbi, mullah, lama, scientist, philosopher, priest, pundit, tom, dick and harriette should face the certainty of our deaths without the certainty of answers, and cut the crap.






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