gatineau morning.

gatineau morning.
photo by douglas mcarthur.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

the half-empty glass.

my neighbour thinks i have 'low self-esteem'. she asked why i keep my house pretty dark at night, so i explained that i'm prone to walking around naked, specifically after a bath. i generally take my clothes off before bathing and don't immediately put them back on after. and my old carcass, i added, would freak anyone out unfortunate enough to be gazing in the window just as i was dancing to 'stayin alive' buck-naked under a bright lamp. that's when she diagnosed me.

obviously, my young lovely neighbour mistook my insignificant, self-deprecating quip as a symptom of low self-esteem. it's ridiculous, of course. i know exactly what i am. i'm a decrepit old man hiding and cowering in the dark. or, maybe i'm simply an aging guy in pretty good shape who values his privacy and respects the sensibilities of others. also, i have no curtains.

a couple weeks ago, the lake was half melted, or was it half frozen? personally, i don't think it matters how you look at it, not really. you're almost certainly not gonna jump in either way. but, i figger it's better to say the lake's half melted. yeah. it's got a nicer ring to it and folks appreciate your wonderful positive attitude. the truth is that every time i hear about another sixty-something-year-old croaking i get a hair-cut and buy a new shirt.

is my neighbour perceptive or is she just young and foolish? half full-of-it or half empty? you tell me. i will only add, in my own defence, the words of nora ephron, an american journalist, novelist and blogger who croaked in 2012: "in fact, looking back it seems to me that i was clueless until well past fifty years of age."

1 comment :

  1. Wow. I was just reading this when I heard Alanis Morissette on CBC. Isn't it ironic?
    That wasn't what I heard but I just wanted you to see how smart Alanis is now; she has figured out ironic. But what I did hear (well OK may not have been at 'exactly'the same time as I was reading your blog but several days later but I figured I could seem smart 'in real time' and also be so anti 'living in the moment' by pretending to multitask that I couldn't resist this fake truth )
    Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Alanis Morissette's co-lyrics... "I, recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah"
    As for your neighbour, I suggest you just fart in her general direction. And if she notices that, call the cops!!... or lay off the hummus.
    "You laugh, you learn"