photo by ellen reitman.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

the harvest moon.

meditation has been the greatest gift i've received in this life, even better than the red bike my uncle norman gave me when i was ten. i wonder what happened to that old bike. i don't know. but meditation's the gift that has just kept on giving. i always say that and i mean it. i like saying that. but, really, what exactly has it given?

it hasn't given me an understanding of the universe. perhaps it never will. perhaps the questions merely get asked with ever more wonder and appreciation. looking at the full moon, a so-called harvest moon, i asked myself again: 'what is that? what exactly is that? what is all this? what am i?' and at the very same time i was thinking: 'holy crap it's beautiful. it's soooo friggin beautiful.'

the buddha was asked: "what have you gained from meditation?" and he answered: "nothing at all." it is highly doubtful he ever said that, but let's roll with it. the mis-quote goes on to say he's actually lost a few things, like hatred, desires, anxiety, fear of death.

i do seem less inclined toward hatred. don't get me wrong. i'm quite capable of getting totally pissed-off. but hating would really be going too far. desire? well, i would venture to say the ol' hankerings have become smaller, simpler, subtler. from that point, however, things begin to go a bit sideways. anxiety? unfortunately, i do feel quite a lot of that at times, specifically when seeing the doctor, dentist or pretty much any medical professional. hell, even unprofessional medical people freak the bezeesus outta me. so i guess maybe that means i haven't exactly lost the fear of death either (?)

all i know is that large harvest moon was hanging in the sky, impossible to ignore, begging the question: 'what the heck is that?' and i simultaneously thought to myself: 'holy crap, that's sooo friggin beautiful.'


  1. Yes, beauty is a wonder and so many things are mysterious still. Thanks Hans Raj! A wonderful blog again.

  2. Yep, that about sums it up. love, Pam