i've lost russia and the ukraine. i don't know why, but i'm kinda bummed. it's one of those moments in life when one realizes that what one has envisioned, anticipated, dreamed of, is not gonna happen after all. i thought they loved me over there. the tool that tracks readership on my blog was clearly indicating that i had become a rockstar over there. i started studying the language, writing a speech, planning a trip. then, poof, gone. why, and now what(?)
i've heard it said that our ability to make the experience of our lives pleasant, just as it actually is, has diminished. i personally don't know that, can't say, although i just did. people certainly seem to ingest ship-loads of booze and chemicals to help in that regard these days. i'm pretty sure 'bout that. fame and fortune, of course, that's all a dream, an illusion. in a hundred short years nobody'll be around who are here now. it all simply doesn't matter. and that sense of pleasantness, satisfaction, fulfillment? according to great men and women through the ages, that stuff's always been right here, right now, innate, our very birth-right. so, what was i thinking?
there's an old atory about a lady who was having a dream. in her dream a man was approaching on a dank, dark street. she became increasingly nervous. he kept getting closer and closer, and she kept getting more and more agitated until he was right up behind her. the lady wheeled around and exclaimed: "what are you going to do to me!?" to which the man responded: "how should i know? it's your dream."
well, i don't wanna russia to any conclusions, but i sorta think maybe they never were there. i mean, maybe those thousands of ukrainian and russian proletariat never were pouring over my blog after all. maybe it was all just some sort of electronic, computer, internet x-file dream. but, that's ok, i guess, cause i've got you.
"when you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. it's simply to enjoy each step along the way." wayne dyer.
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