my little room.

my little room.
nathan.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

audience participation.


my morning began as though i had just won a contest. it wasn't like a million-dollar lottery, more like a caribbean cruise. it was like a first kiss with a special person or greeting a treasured old friend. i leaned against the headboard of my bed, my spirits rose up and filled me with wonder. there was no desire, no sense of anything missing from the life. an hour later, i drank a coffee, looked at my computer and so it all began.

"start every day off with a smile and get it over with." w. c. fields.

the first email i received today insisted my last blog posting, 'meditation works, really', was a made-up story, that i could not have really done that. i appreciated the lady's high opinion of me, only i never lie on my blog, ever, and that's the truth. i come from a long line of cranky people and that incident did in fact take place. it was many years ago, but i can still get ratty at times.

for example, i hate being told that i look tired. older folks tend to look tired. i don't consider myself old. i like to say that i'm aging, but let's not quibble. a lady of equal age recently asked: "are you ok? you look tired." did i say: "are you ok? you look haggard." no, i did not. i just immediately felt tired.

another thing: what's with audience participation? i went to a concert recently during which the master of ceremonies absolutely insisted the audience join in. i paid twenty bucks. why was i also commanded to jump around like a banshee warrior? i paid forty bucks, in fact, because i sprung for the lady who came with me. she, btw, was happily bobbing, grooving, singing and clapping, no problem. good for her. on the other hand, i have long ago pulled back on the bobbing, grooving, singing, and i clap at appropriate times.

one more thing: when you have a truck, people ask for help and that's great. what gets my goat is when one is surprised to find oneself maneuvering over-stuffed sofa-beds down three flights of stairs. i also hate purchasing a coffee that comes luke-warm, packages that require major tools to open, people who talk too quietly or, anyway, you get my point. it was a true story.

"all good things come to those who have patience, and hopefully you don't die in the meantime." mark twain.

when everything was said and the day done, i sat on my zafoo in front of the wood-stove. after a while a peace descended upon the room, my body and mind. it didn't come from anywhere else, had always been there. in spite of the ups and downs of the day, the caffeine, the activities, gains and losses, it descended upon me like a kiss, a friend. i leaned back against some pillows, put my legs out and just appreciated being alive to it all. 

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