zombies live forever.

here's a classic letter that i found in a box of old photos and letters. i have not changed any grammar, punctuation or language  it's just the way it could be back then in the so-called 'new age,' in general, certainly in my family. keep in mind i had not seen my mom for several years. i still get a kick out of it:

may, 1977.
dear howard;
i had a telephone call today that upset me very much from a mrs. fromstein. she was crying on the telephone because of what is happening to her son. what makes you think that you have the right to convert a good boy into a zombie, and then send him to india to become a convert to your way of life?!! when are you going to wake up to realize that you are brainwashed into a totally unrealistic world? you are, if nothing else, starving yourself and you are going to kill yourself from malnutrition. no one can exist without food, not even you, because no matter how your mind tells you otherwise, your body is a machine that needs certain things like food at several intervals a day. why can't you shake yourself out of the lethargy you have enveloped yourself into and come alive to know what you are doing to yourself. he dictionary gives this meaning to the word 'zombie'. 'someone little smarter or livelier than a corpse,' or 'the body of a dead person given the semblance of life by a supernatural source.'
if that is what you want for yourself, okay, but for all that is good in this life and for the sake of a family, keep your influence off another human being! i don't know who was responsible for you becoming what you are but i don't want you being responsible for doing it to another human being. i am no longer going to accept or condone something that is reprehensible to me and from now on i am going to tell you exactly how i feel and in this way i may be able to snap you out of the horrible wasted life you are leading. wake up? before it is too late and you are so wasted away that you will be unable to regain the health and vitality. don't waste what had all the earmarks of a good and useful life. come home and let us help you regain what you have lost.
mother.

How Many Fingers?

I have had three digital examinations in six weeks. Fortunately, I still am not fond of them. The first one was by a cute young doctor here in Wakefield. When she told me she wanted to do that, I suggested we start with coffee or even dinner. Eventually, after the last doctor stuck his fingers deep into the core of my being, he gave me pretty positive prostate progress feedback.
Sharman wants to go steal a dog. She gets emotional when thinking of a certain puppy she has come across who is tied up by a short chain. I may go with her. Why? Yes, well you may ask. Do I want to do it doggy style with my ex-wife? No. Do I want to project a milder, softer me? No. I'll tell you next time...

wedding officiating.

i am now available as an officiate for your wedding. of course, that would almost certainly doom the marriage to failure, but it would ensure you of a fun time at the ceremony. it really would entirely depend upon your priorities. if interested, contact me at 6139797194 or nathanvanek@yahoo.ca.

my ernest prayer.

dear god keep everyone safe from problems of the heart
let lovers not be apart
save my friends from pollution
for gastritis, asthma and allergies, give your solution
dengue fever's not too cool either
dear god keep all free of bubonic or pneumonic plague, leprosy,
alzheimer's or hiv please
pigs hearts, mad cows, fleas or lyme disease
but, for me dear god, well, dental makes me mental
save me from the peridontist
keep me from the orthodontist
if need be i'll not eat, i'll stay in bed, i don't care
just keep me from that dental chair
for lymph, lung or liver cancer
hair loss, back pain or cholestrol, give them all your answer
don't let the world turn our children into cynics
dear god i ask only that you keep me from those dental clinics
if this is too much to ask, of course, or if it's not fair
let me see your perfection everywhere.

who let the hound out(?)

im sitting in my meditation room, on a sofa put here for old and decrepit people. its my favorite place to sit. my dog is dreaming beside me. shes chasing something, like a rabbit or a deer. her feet are twitching wildly. whimpering noises are filling the room. she just actually woke herself up.
thats not so different from us, really, is it(?)
so ive started to write a new book, which im thinking to call: not hung like my father. i have already begun. i would offer it to the publishers of my book: the bridge between, only they no longer return my emails. they have studiously avoided me for the past couple of years. that may not be a good sign. luckily, for me, i dont write with an eye on acquiring the booker prize. im just happy to help the world with my deep insights, like how our waking state is essentially the same and just as real and as important as my mutts dream chase.
later. luvyas...

Meditation with Nathan.

Meditation With Nathan: My evening in traffic court did not begin well. During roll call, at about the third name, I raised my arm only to find that a large, florid-faced lady wearing a shiny, blue dress and a feather boa had also raised hers. Clearly, we couldn't both be Nadine Whatever. People looked over at me as though I had just outted myself and I shrank into the corner.
As it turned out, I was the only person found completely innocent in the end. My situation was just a simple missunderstanding after all. It was never in doubt. While most everyone was concerned about the outcome of their cases, I was really only concerned about my bodily functions. Be that as it may, mine was the very last case to be heard. I didn't mind waiting. I enjoyed the show and it was at least more interesting than meditation.
I must say, however, that the only people to acquit themselves well, (so to speak,) were the two other Wakefielders (Wakefieldians?) in attendance. They clearly had no chance. Still, they fought the good fight. One of them, a lovely lady I've noticed around the village, was so compelling that I'm convinced she's had legal training. Either that or she's no stranger to blatantly ignoring detour signs and quite familiar with the whole criminal system. She didn't look dangerous, but the really bad ones don't, do they(?)
Having said all that, I am pleased to report that I will in fact be free for this Wednesday's session which will include a silent forty-minute sitting. The session will be from 7 to 8 with tea and gruel afterward, at Art de la Paix, 9 Legion Rd. It will be open to new and hardened meditators alike.

Art of Peace Wedding Officiating.

Ok, I have been convinced to offer my services as an officiant at your wedding. I will write about how that will look and feel for you soon. For now, call me at 6139797194 for further information.