updating the ipad.

thursday came and went without seeing the ‘ups’ delivery van i’d been waiting for. i’d been waiting for several weeks, in fact, for my brand-spanking new ipad.  

i ordered the thing on-line, through ‘apple’, as that was the responsible thing to do, because that’s the kind of guy i am. i coulda driven down to gatineau, bought the thing then and there. only, health experts and democratically-elected government officials asked me not to, and i do what i’m told. besides, a friend told me she’d previously received a new iphone within three-working days. 

only after actually pulling the trigger on the deal did i notice it would be coming from china, and it’d take a few weeks. had it not shown that before? had i missed that notation on the website? why was it coming from china? does ‘apple’ not have distributors in canada? is there no meaning to life? those were questions i asked myself at that moment.

after several days i received an email congratulating me on the fact that my order was on its way, shipped through ‘ups.’ there was no reward or trophy offered, and the ipad did not arrive as scheduled. so i waited the next day as well. i watched out my window all the live-long day like a faithful golden-retriever waiting for its master to return. i knew i had to be there to sign for the thing: there’d be a further delay if i missed the delivery. so i languished inside writing, reading, playing scrabble on my old cracked ipad and i jumped each time i thought i heard a vehicle approaching. my tail would begin wagging wildly while inevitably a wrong jalopy passed and i’d go back to my chair. 

the ‘ups’ website continued to say the delivery would be completed by the end of the day. i couldn’t find any phone number for ‘ups’ so i phoned ‘apple’ at 5:30. a lovely-sounding sympathetic lady eventually answered and looked over my order information. then she asked: “why did you purchase the ipad from china?” i remained silent, not trusting myself to say anything, but she soon admitted she couldn’t help other than to give me a phone number for ups which, i pointed out, was a tremendous help. 

i immediately called ‘ups’ and was put on hold, with no exaggeration, for a half hour. but i waited, because that’s what i do. i wait. and sometime just before all light and hope was sucked out of the day i did talk to a lovely-sounding sympathetic lady. she looked over my order and declared that the package had not passed through customs in time to be put on the truck that day. she added that probably it was because the ipad had come from china. then she asked why i ordered it from china. of course i guffawed and of course i suggested that i hadn’t order it from china, that i had of course innocently ordered it from ‘apple’. 
     
anyway, she apologized profusely for the wrong notation on the ups website and assured me it’d arrive next day for sure maybe. which of course it didn’t. by about four o’clock i kept muttering things like: ‘you couldn’t make stuff like this up.’ however, i had a phone number. so once again i called and once again was put on hold for a half hour. periodically a recorded message would suggest i check their website to discover how ‘ups’ is responding to the pandemic. but i already knew how they’re responding to the pandemic.

therefore i waited. and eventually a lovely-sounding sympathetic lady answered my call, looked over my order and offered apologies for having made me waste those days. she somehow sounded sincerely sorry, and didn’t even ask why i ordered it from china. so i admitted that i really had nothing better to do anyway and, i added, waiting for my new ipad was by far the most exciting part of my current life. she had a good laugh, so i guess i did something useful that day, yesterday.

as it stands, the new ipad will be delivered tomorrow or wednesday for sure maybe. but, really, i’ve gotten hours of enjoyment out of it already.