all dressed up and nowhere to go.

“although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of suffering.” helen keller.

it felt good to throw off my pyjama bottoms finally yesterday and put on some jeans, the nicely faded ones. i paid extra for that faded look but they’re classic. it took me a while to decide upon what coat to use. i wanted to wear my heavy red lumber-jack shirt. it was equally classic and i hadn’t worn it for a long time, only really it was still just a bit too cold outside. i looked over my choices until i grabbed the one my buddy calls the ‘goin to church’ coat. it’s a sombre grey three-quarter-length affair that i felt struck the right note. lastly, i chose my tinted glasses and dark blue baseball cap. of course i did not actually come across another human on my walk. 

it kinda reminded me of my old parents. while they were still ‘with us’ my folks lived on the fifth floor of a building at the highest point of north toronto. there was always a wind, always. i called it ‘the howling void.’ and my main job, almost immediately upon arrival, was to take them out for lunch at their favourite restaurant. 

the two of them would huddle around their computer first to look at the weather report. they wouldn’t ask me or go onto their balcony. i doubt very much they even looked out the window. my dad always fumbled with the zipper of his heavy coat and always refused my help. mom would slowly lovingly get on her huge dark brown fur coat. several creatures had clearly sacrificed their lives for her elegant comfort, but i like to think she was grateful. 

once boots were on, hats chosen and dad had his cane, we’d walk slowly along the hall and into the elevator. we’d go down to the heated garage, to their big old car that i’d drive. dad would tell me to turn right here then left over there, he’d direct me where to park in the heated underground lot and then we’d take the elevator up into the mall. we never actually ever stepped outside. 

i’ve heard that relationships are crumbling due to the isolation. personally, i’m ok on my own, have enough food and plenty of toilet paper. some people joke about other peoples’ obsession with the stuff, but i don’t. i recall as a young lad, on a camping trip, using leaves that turned out to be poison ivy. 

i  almost took my pyjama pants off today, but really why(?)