when the van's a rockin.

spring has sprung. this is a period of new life, new beginnings. the snow is melting, buds are budding. many guys find themselves inexorably drawn to a new romance. i, however, find myself inexorably drawn to a new camper. 

it happens every spring. there must be some deficiency in me. maybe i need shots of testosterone. i see a beautiful woman and my attention goes rather to a van passing by. i appreciate big breasts, but i want hallugen headlights. i love long legs, but i never tire of tough tires. i enjoy a simmering smile, but i prefer a cozy camper, and that's just wrong. 

i've bought and sold so many campers over the years that i should probably join a support group. i've had two trailers, two truck campers, a fifth-wheel and a couple of modified truck caps. last year i bought a fifth-wheel, went to huge lengths to fix it up, and the only trip i took was to wakefield. it was a great day, but i only live five minutes away.  also last year, i very nearly bought a spectacularly smelly horse trailer. and i don't own a horse. i can't recall whether that was just before or after the fifth-wheel. it's all kinda blending together. anyway, i thought it'd be cool to convert a horse trailer into a camping trailer. only one of all my friends agreed, and i realized even he was being slightly sarcastic when he suggested i could sleep standing up. anyway, when you're inside an old horse trailer, where actual horses had spent many long hours loitering, presumably in pretty bad moods, with the remnants of their bodily functions in evidence, it's hard to hold onto the romance of the vision. 

the last time i was at my ashram in india, while everyone there contemplated the one life permeating all, i contemplated what camper i would get upon my return to canada. while they studied scriptures, i studied camper reviews. while they poured over the 'rig-vedas' i poured over the rig of my dreams. i spent the whole time on-line looking at roadtreks and sportsmobiles, four-wheel-truck campers and retro bolers. 

so now it's spring. while other guys are lusting after the female species i find myself lusting after camper vans, the last great frontier. the problem is that every time i look at a van i feel as though i'm cheating on my truck. i love my truck, but i just want something a little younger, prettier. anyway, it's not as though i want to get rid of her. no. i'm just thinking of driving off once in a while, the odd weekend getaway. you can understand that, can't you? 

"life is a pilgrimage. a wise man does not rest by the roadside inns. he marches (or drives) directly to the illimitable domain of eternal bliss, his ultimate destination." swami sivananda.